I don't feel your love. I don't feel your sincerity. I don't feel your concern. You say the words but you don't have the emotion. You don't have the action. I think at the end of the day we truly are alone. How is it that after 22 years of life I still don't have someone who really cares and is willing to stick with me through the good times and the bad times. I think this says something about people. We care, but to the extent that it doesn't inconvenience us.
Aside from this depressing thoughts, Today was really hard. I kept thinking about ending my life. This feeling just gets stronger and stronger. I don't want to deal with my responsibilities anymore. I just want to tell the world I'm done with you.
Cipralex has affected by appetite a lot lately. Foods I used to like make me nauseous and I don't feel like eating anymore. Even when I'm hungry the thought of food makes me feel sick. Today is day 16 for me. Next Wednesday I will be seeing the doctor again to follow up.
Rav
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